"The goal of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but that is not his goal. His goal is to do the will of his Lord."  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

It is Monday once again, and the ESL class that we've been involved in for two years is starting up for the new term tonight.  I have an outline for today's first lesson in my bag along with a variety of props and supplies which will (hopefully) engage and inspire the Chinese university students who come to practice their conversational English skills.

I feel a combination of excitement and a real weight of responsibility as I think about this class which will begin in a few short hours.  We're coming together to talk.... about ourselves, about our homelands, about our school work, about life in the UK, about this new culture, about family, about friends, about navigating life in a foreign country, about our highs and lows, about missing home, about new adventures we are having.  We talk about so much together on Monday nights, and it is our hope and prayer that in and amongst all those conversations, all those words, all the grammar and syntax and proper tenses, all the stories and facts and ideas, that each of the students who come will encounter something of the amazing love and grace of God through us.  

I feel excited because it is a great privilege to be invited by the Creator of the universe to join Him in sharing his love with the world, starting with a few university students in Belfast.  It is an honor to be invited into the lives of these young people and invest in friendships with them.  But I feel the weight of responsibility as well.  Most of them have never read or even held a Bible, and many of them have never met a Christian.  What a responsibility it is to love like Jesus with people who don't know anything about Him!  What a huge job to be the only visible representation of Christ that many of these students will have met.  Especially when I'm tired, like I am today, or discouraged like I am some Mondays, or frustrated like I am other Mondays, or homesick, or worried, or... as I said, I feel the weight of the responsibility acutely today.

But, just as I start to let the enormity of the task begin to overwhelm me, God gently brings these words to my attention. "The goal of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but that is not his goal. His goal is to do the will of his Lord."  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest.

I am reminded that my task isn't to change lives, that is the Holy Spirit's work.  It isn't to be perfect, that is impossible.  It isn't to win souls, that's God's domain.  It isn't even to be useful!  It is just to obey!  And today, God is calling me to show up at ESL class.  All I have to do today is obey Him in that. 

I do pray for those students who are a part of our ESL class.  I pray that they find Belfast a warm and welcoming place.  I pray they settle into their new classes and living situations well.  I pray they experience the best of Northern Irish hospitality and culture.  I pray they can find their way around this new city.  I pray they won't be too homesick.  I pray that many Christians would welcome them, have them over, invite them to church, take them on outings, cook them meals, and become friends with them.  I pray that as they rub shoulders with me and other Believers that God would work in their hearts, open their minds, and make them ready to meet Jesus in us!

And for myself, I pray that in ALL THINGS, large and small, I would stay close to my Father's heart, so that I can hear as he whispers in my ear, and do His will!

Home Sweet Home

Two weeks ago something fabulous happened!  In the midst of the frenzy of getting ready to go back to school, a breath of fresh air blew in!  A package arrived from home!  My wonderful sister had sent off an envelope full of goodies for us.  It arrived and turned a normal, mundane day into a mini-celebration!

We get so excited to get mail of any kind from home, but packages are especially thrilling.  This one was no exception!  Inside were tucked some very special paintings by a certain favorite three year old of ours, some delicious smelling Bath and Body Works potions (one of the things I miss most about America), and a notebook that says, "Let's talk soon because I miss you hearing the sound of my voice".   

As I laid out all my new treasures I could not for the life of me wipe the grin off my face!  Each thing was specially made or chosen to make me smile, by people who know me and love me so well!  It isn't really about the stuff at all (although, it has to be said, that the stuff is great too).  It is so much more about the love and special thoughts, the time and energy that it takes to send a package.  I know that one day, long before the package arrived, Jonathan sat down and painted some pictures especially for Nenni and Bobbo.  Molly went to Bath and Body Works and picked something out for me, and when she saw the saying on that notebook, it reminded her of me and she knew I'd find it as funny as she did!  It is the fact that my sister and her family love us, know us, think about us, remember us, and even though there are thousands of miles and an ocean in between, are connected to us in a special way! 

It isn't just receiving packages that is exciting.  I have such a thrill when I send something off home too...  "speical prizes" for Jonathan and Ben, souvenirs from trips we've taken, or birthday presents.  I can't wait till they arrive so my family can enjoy the things I've picked out for them.  

I wonder if God got the same thrill when he gave us his Word.  As He inspired every thought and phrase in Scripture, did he have each one of us in mind?  Was every story and verse picked to remind us that he loves us, knows us, thinks about us, and remembers us?  Does he wait with eager anticipation for us to receive His special gift to us every day? 

I am ashamed to think of how many days I let God's gift go unopened.  How much am I missing out on when I am too tired, too busy, or too preoccupied to open up the Bible and see what the God who created me wants to share with me?   

As I stand at the start of another academic year, as the calendar fills up with commitments, activities, work, ministry, church, and all the other things that vie for my time and attention, I am recommitting myself to enjoying the surprises and challenges that God has in store for me each day in His Word.  They are sent with love from someone who knows me better than I know myself!

Hebrews 4:12-16 The Message translation

God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.