"The goal of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but that is not his goal. His goal is to do the will of his Lord."  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

It is Monday once again, and the ESL class that we've been involved in for two years is starting up for the new term tonight.  I have an outline for today's first lesson in my bag along with a variety of props and supplies which will (hopefully) engage and inspire the Chinese university students who come to practice their conversational English skills.

I feel a combination of excitement and a real weight of responsibility as I think about this class which will begin in a few short hours.  We're coming together to talk.... about ourselves, about our homelands, about our school work, about life in the UK, about this new culture, about family, about friends, about navigating life in a foreign country, about our highs and lows, about missing home, about new adventures we are having.  We talk about so much together on Monday nights, and it is our hope and prayer that in and amongst all those conversations, all those words, all the grammar and syntax and proper tenses, all the stories and facts and ideas, that each of the students who come will encounter something of the amazing love and grace of God through us.  

I feel excited because it is a great privilege to be invited by the Creator of the universe to join Him in sharing his love with the world, starting with a few university students in Belfast.  It is an honor to be invited into the lives of these young people and invest in friendships with them.  But I feel the weight of responsibility as well.  Most of them have never read or even held a Bible, and many of them have never met a Christian.  What a responsibility it is to love like Jesus with people who don't know anything about Him!  What a huge job to be the only visible representation of Christ that many of these students will have met.  Especially when I'm tired, like I am today, or discouraged like I am some Mondays, or frustrated like I am other Mondays, or homesick, or worried, or... as I said, I feel the weight of the responsibility acutely today.

But, just as I start to let the enormity of the task begin to overwhelm me, God gently brings these words to my attention. "The goal of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but that is not his goal. His goal is to do the will of his Lord."  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest.

I am reminded that my task isn't to change lives, that is the Holy Spirit's work.  It isn't to be perfect, that is impossible.  It isn't to win souls, that's God's domain.  It isn't even to be useful!  It is just to obey!  And today, God is calling me to show up at ESL class.  All I have to do today is obey Him in that. 

I do pray for those students who are a part of our ESL class.  I pray that they find Belfast a warm and welcoming place.  I pray they settle into their new classes and living situations well.  I pray they experience the best of Northern Irish hospitality and culture.  I pray they can find their way around this new city.  I pray they won't be too homesick.  I pray that many Christians would welcome them, have them over, invite them to church, take them on outings, cook them meals, and become friends with them.  I pray that as they rub shoulders with me and other Believers that God would work in their hearts, open their minds, and make them ready to meet Jesus in us!

And for myself, I pray that in ALL THINGS, large and small, I would stay close to my Father's heart, so that I can hear as he whispers in my ear, and do His will!