Sharing pumpkins... and culture!

That familiar chill is in the air!  The leaves are changing colors, even here in Northern Ireland.  They don't put on the same brilliant display as they do in the eastern woodlands of America, but they are changing all the same.  "Autumn" in Northern Ireland doesn't look or feel the same as "fall" in Michigan, but a few things carry over.  I tire myself out trying to explain the full glory of a Michigan fall to Robert (and anyone else who will listen).  It is one of my favorite times of the year at home!  Most people just humor me, but have no idea of all the wonders they are missing out on:  apple picking, spiced apple cider, pumpkin patches, brilliant fall leaves that look as if a paintbox of orange yellow and red have been spilt onto the landscape, the smell of pumpkin pie spices, the anticipation of Thanksgiving Day, the list goes on and on!

Recently, I had an opportunity to share a little taste of my version of fall with my friends at the Globe Cafe, a weekly meeting of local and international people in East Belfast that is sponsored by a group of churches in the area.  We held an event to celebrate fall called "Apples, and Pumpkins, and Sweets, Oh My!"  I can't tell you how wonderful it was to share a taste of home with my friends from around the world.  We had pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, spiced apple cider (the American version), sour cream apple crumble cake, and toasted pumpkin seeds!  There was a pumpkin carving contest and a brief lesson in the finer points of carving a pumpkin.  We were also able to do a similar event with our Chinese friends in ESL class.

I hope that the people who came to these events were as blessed as I was.  There is something so affirming and so powerful about being able to share a part of your culture with others who are willing to embrace and accept it. The North America traditions of fall are so dear to my heart, they hold the memories of my childhood, my family, my community... so many of the things that I hold dear are wrapped up with my cultural traditions.  They are more than just nice activities for me, they are part of my identity, and have helped to shape me into the person that I am today.  Being able to share those precious parts of my culture with friends from China, Poland, Spain, Germany, Northern Ireland, and beyond and watching them enjoy, participate, and embrace those traditions with joy was one of the most profound experiences I've had.

I am so challenged to pass the feeling of acceptance and affirmation I experienced this last few weeks on to my other international friends.  I am reminded again how important it is to really listen to my friends as they share parts of their culture, and their life, that are precious to them and form a large part of who they have been and who they are becoming.  I want people to feel accepted and affirmed after being with me.  I want to give people the opportunity to share their culture with me, to learn from it and enjoy and appreciate it as a glimpse into the hearts of my friends.

I have a rich (although not perfect) cultural heritage as an American, which I am very proud of.  But I also have a rich (although not perfect) cultural heritage as a Christian.  I should be just as eager to share my Christian culture with my friends as I am to share my American heritage.  And equally, I should be respectful and sensitive as I share my faith to the variety of other beliefs that my friends hold. I want to learn more and more how to share the Truth, but to do so in a loving, compassionate way.  When I think of how much joy I experienced at seeing people accept and embrace my fall traditions, I can only imagine the rejoicing and celebrating going on in Heaven when someone accepts and embraces the gospel of Jesus Christ.  How it must thrill God's heart when one of his children accepts his gift of salvation through Jesus!

I'm so thankful that I was able to share a taste of North American fall with my friends this year!  And I pray that in God's time, as He opens doors, I will be able to share the Good News of Jesus with them as well!

"The goal of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but that is not his goal. His goal is to do the will of his Lord."  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

It is Monday once again, and the ESL class that we've been involved in for two years is starting up for the new term tonight.  I have an outline for today's first lesson in my bag along with a variety of props and supplies which will (hopefully) engage and inspire the Chinese university students who come to practice their conversational English skills.

I feel a combination of excitement and a real weight of responsibility as I think about this class which will begin in a few short hours.  We're coming together to talk.... about ourselves, about our homelands, about our school work, about life in the UK, about this new culture, about family, about friends, about navigating life in a foreign country, about our highs and lows, about missing home, about new adventures we are having.  We talk about so much together on Monday nights, and it is our hope and prayer that in and amongst all those conversations, all those words, all the grammar and syntax and proper tenses, all the stories and facts and ideas, that each of the students who come will encounter something of the amazing love and grace of God through us.  

I feel excited because it is a great privilege to be invited by the Creator of the universe to join Him in sharing his love with the world, starting with a few university students in Belfast.  It is an honor to be invited into the lives of these young people and invest in friendships with them.  But I feel the weight of responsibility as well.  Most of them have never read or even held a Bible, and many of them have never met a Christian.  What a responsibility it is to love like Jesus with people who don't know anything about Him!  What a huge job to be the only visible representation of Christ that many of these students will have met.  Especially when I'm tired, like I am today, or discouraged like I am some Mondays, or frustrated like I am other Mondays, or homesick, or worried, or... as I said, I feel the weight of the responsibility acutely today.

But, just as I start to let the enormity of the task begin to overwhelm me, God gently brings these words to my attention. "The goal of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but that is not his goal. His goal is to do the will of his Lord."  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest.

I am reminded that my task isn't to change lives, that is the Holy Spirit's work.  It isn't to be perfect, that is impossible.  It isn't to win souls, that's God's domain.  It isn't even to be useful!  It is just to obey!  And today, God is calling me to show up at ESL class.  All I have to do today is obey Him in that. 

I do pray for those students who are a part of our ESL class.  I pray that they find Belfast a warm and welcoming place.  I pray they settle into their new classes and living situations well.  I pray they experience the best of Northern Irish hospitality and culture.  I pray they can find their way around this new city.  I pray they won't be too homesick.  I pray that many Christians would welcome them, have them over, invite them to church, take them on outings, cook them meals, and become friends with them.  I pray that as they rub shoulders with me and other Believers that God would work in their hearts, open their minds, and make them ready to meet Jesus in us!

And for myself, I pray that in ALL THINGS, large and small, I would stay close to my Father's heart, so that I can hear as he whispers in my ear, and do His will!

Home Sweet Home

Two weeks ago something fabulous happened!  In the midst of the frenzy of getting ready to go back to school, a breath of fresh air blew in!  A package arrived from home!  My wonderful sister had sent off an envelope full of goodies for us.  It arrived and turned a normal, mundane day into a mini-celebration!

We get so excited to get mail of any kind from home, but packages are especially thrilling.  This one was no exception!  Inside were tucked some very special paintings by a certain favorite three year old of ours, some delicious smelling Bath and Body Works potions (one of the things I miss most about America), and a notebook that says, "Let's talk soon because I miss you hearing the sound of my voice".   

As I laid out all my new treasures I could not for the life of me wipe the grin off my face!  Each thing was specially made or chosen to make me smile, by people who know me and love me so well!  It isn't really about the stuff at all (although, it has to be said, that the stuff is great too).  It is so much more about the love and special thoughts, the time and energy that it takes to send a package.  I know that one day, long before the package arrived, Jonathan sat down and painted some pictures especially for Nenni and Bobbo.  Molly went to Bath and Body Works and picked something out for me, and when she saw the saying on that notebook, it reminded her of me and she knew I'd find it as funny as she did!  It is the fact that my sister and her family love us, know us, think about us, remember us, and even though there are thousands of miles and an ocean in between, are connected to us in a special way! 

It isn't just receiving packages that is exciting.  I have such a thrill when I send something off home too...  "speical prizes" for Jonathan and Ben, souvenirs from trips we've taken, or birthday presents.  I can't wait till they arrive so my family can enjoy the things I've picked out for them.  

I wonder if God got the same thrill when he gave us his Word.  As He inspired every thought and phrase in Scripture, did he have each one of us in mind?  Was every story and verse picked to remind us that he loves us, knows us, thinks about us, and remembers us?  Does he wait with eager anticipation for us to receive His special gift to us every day? 

I am ashamed to think of how many days I let God's gift go unopened.  How much am I missing out on when I am too tired, too busy, or too preoccupied to open up the Bible and see what the God who created me wants to share with me?   

As I stand at the start of another academic year, as the calendar fills up with commitments, activities, work, ministry, church, and all the other things that vie for my time and attention, I am recommitting myself to enjoying the surprises and challenges that God has in store for me each day in His Word.  They are sent with love from someone who knows me better than I know myself!

Hebrews 4:12-16 The Message translation

God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

Warm Welcome - Cold Plates

I love entertaining!  I love planning the menu, setting the table, preparing the meal, picking the perfect flowers, lighting the candles, and creating the atmosphere!  I've learned in my years here in Northern Ireland, that much of entertaining is cultural, which has lead to some funny moments and sometimes a great deal of stress!

I find that in most things, Americans are much more laid back and informal than their Northern Irish counterparts.  In the States we seem to value individuality very highly, which translates to there being as many ways of doing things as there are people.  Dinner parties vary from a formally set table of China and crystal to eating off a paper plate and plastic cup on your knee... and everything in between.  The great thing is, all these different ways of entertaining are acceptable, and no one bats an eyelash!

From my experience, Northern Irish culture tends to be more formal, and abides by a more fixed set of rules and expectations.  There seems to be a right way and a wrong way to do most things in this country.  Because of this, there is a lot less variety in the way people entertain.  There are certain rules to be followed if things are to be done "correctly".  

*It must be said that these are generalizations (which I know can be VERY dangerous), but for me, the only way I can navigate a foreign culture is to notice what the "general rules" are and realize that there are always exceptions to those rules.  I do understand, that even within Northern Irish culture there are varying degrees of formality... the country being much more traditional and keeping even more closely to the fixed rules than the city, etc.  All that being said, these are some of the "rules" as I have observed them: 

• plates must be warmed (in the oven or an electric blanket type contraption especially for plate warming)
• three courses should be served (starter, main, and dessert)
• separate silverware must be set out for each course in the proper place (dessert spoons and forks go above the plate, who knew there were even separate spoons and forks for dessert, doesn't everyone just lick off their spoon and save it for dessert?)
• side plates should be used for bread (and special knives, again, who knew?)
• tea and coffee are always served after dessert
• "biscuits" or cookies must be served with tea and coffee (so I guess that's actually 4 courses)
• chocolates are often served with tea and coffee too (is that 5 courses?)
• food is usually plated in the kitchen and served to guests (very little buffet or family style here)
• dinner starts much later and lasts much longer than in America (not unusual to go for dinner at 8:00 PM, when I feel one should be turning in for the evening and getting ready for bed)
• guests must stay "the right" amount of time (leaving too soon is very rude and indicates you haven't had a good time, staying too long is also rude... I have yet to figure out how you know what "the right" amount of time is, Robert just gives me the nod when it is OK to go)
• there is a ritual around leaving someone's home... first, you CAN NOT mention leaving too soon, or everyone will be offended and whisper about you later that you "eat and run" which is a cardinal sin... after "the right" amount of time has passed, you mention that you should be going, but then you sit on for another 20 minutes or so, then you mention that you should be going again and sit on for an additional 20 minutes or so, you can then mention that you should be going a third time and actually begin making your way to the door.  The goodbye at the door can take anywhere from 1-20 minutes, depending.  And then, approximately an hour later, you can actually get in your car and go.

All these rules were new to me!  In my experience, plates are only warmed by the sun when they are sitting on the end of a picnic table.  No one in my family drinks tea or coffee, we are more the hot chocolate type.  And the only time we eat "plated" food is at a restaurant. Meals were always family style at our house.  

Needless to say, the first few times I entertained over here I got nearly all of it "WRONG".  Thankfully most Northern Irish people were willing to overlook my lack of proper entertaining protocol because I'm not from here.  Over my 2+ years here I've gradually learned "the rules" and make reasonable attempts to follow them even though I find most of them silly.  

Once I began to get a sense that there is a "proper" way to do entertaining (and that most of my American entertaining habits were not "proper" in this place) I started to get REALLY stressed any time people came over.  I would fuss around the table moving silverware, double checking to make sure all the proper utensils were in the proper places, and generally getting myself all worked up.  A Northern Irish woman once complained when I was in her home, that some people are so lazy, they don't leave the proper distance between the plate and the edge of the table, nor do they line up the silverware evenly with the plate, and they even leave fingerprints on the silverware.  So, the next time I had guests in my house I was nearly in tears over whether or not the plates were the proper distance from the edge of the table, and I polished each utensil and placed it without touching it so there would be no fingerprints. (believe it or not, it is true, and I was VERY emotional about it, just ask Robert!)  

Maybe it was just the stress of moving to this country, maybe it was the stress of being newly married and wanting Robert's family and friends to like me... who knows?  But that tearful event was a turning point for me.  Something that I had once LOVED doing had turned into something that I dreaded and cried over!  I decided from that moment on that I would do the best I could, and if it wasn't up to people's expectations, it was too bad!  Since then, I've relaxed so much and enjoy entertaining once again!  

The only rule which I refuse to attempt is the plate warming.  For some reason, I have chosen this as my last stand.  I will not, under any circumstances warm a plate.  I think it is my little way of reminding people that I am NOT Northern Irish.  I am AMERICAN and I'm proud of it!  I'll make all kinds of adjustments to the way I live and speak.  I'll put up with a thousand frustrations and inconveniences as a guest in this country... but I will not warm a plate!  Strange the things we hang onto from our own culture and background!  Even stranger that I chose plate warming as the hill I wanted to plant my flag and live or die on! 

After a bumpy start, I think I'm finding a balance in combining the best of Northern Irish and American entertaining practices.  I'm trying very hard not to view one way as "right" and the other way as "wrong".  They are just different.  (With the exception of plate warming, which I do think is just wrong.)  It is the challenge that expats face in all areas of life in a foreign land... letting go of the notion that there is only one way to do things, that the way which is familiar to you is somehow better than all the others.  Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but being open to other ways of living, doing, and being while remaining true to yourself is more difficult than it seems and is something I have to practice over and over and over again!  

So, if you come over to our place you can expect a warm American/Northern Irish welcome, a (hopefully) tasty meal, tea, coffee, and biscuits, I'll even try to lay the silverware out properly... just don't expect a warm plate!!

*Disclaimer:  If you are Northern Irish, please don't be offended.  This is my interpretation of "the rules" from the outside looking in!  These are things I've noticed generally from a foreigner's perspective.   I know not EVERY Northern Irish person follows these rules exactly nor is every Northern Irish person formal in this way.  I also do know in my head that warming plates makes sense when serving hot food... but I will still never do it!!  Perhaps my next post will be about the oddities of American style entertaining from Robert's Northern Irish perspective (and believe me, he finds the American way of doing things strange too)!  

Back to School!

There is a growing chill in the air.  The daylight hours are getting noticeably shorter.  A small spattering of leaves are turning from brilliant summer green to the yellows and oranges of fall.  Shops are filled with displays of brightly colored back packs, lunch boxes, and yellow pencils sharpened to a fine point.  The teacher in me thrills at the sight of crisp clean notebooks and rainbow boxes of perfect coloring crayons!  The smell of new school supplies never fails to bring a smile to my face, a pep to my step, and a little race in my heart!

I know that in a few weeks time, the crayons will be broken, the notebooks will be filled with scrawls, and students the world over will search in vain for sharpened pencils inside desks that look as though they've been hit by small tornados!  But, oh, the joy of all the pristine new school supplies, packed away neatly in brand new backpacks, just waiting to be used and abused by eager little hands!

Something about the advent of a school year, a fresh start, a brand new beginning holds so much promise, so much potential, so much excitement!  As a teacher, I thrill at the thought of a new group of kids who have never experienced my class before!  I think about all the new discoveries, new experiences, ways they will grow and change over the next few months.  So much promise!  I also think about myself... I'm so fresh, so eager, with a new reserve of patience and calm.  

I know it won't last forever.  The exhaustion will set in.  The patience will wear thin, sometimes VERY thin!  The calm will gradually be eroded by a thousand emergencies, requests, questions, demands, expectations, papers to grade, lessons to plan, parents to call, and forms to fill out, and frustrations flying in from every direction.  

But... for now...

All that I can see is the promise of a new beginning.  A chance to get things right that I got wrong last year.  An opportunity to plan a better lesson, try a new technique, be more organized, listen to my students...  be a better teacher!  

We all need new beginnings.  Times when we can reset the clock, wipe the slate clean, and start over again.  One of the things I really love about teaching is that once a year, you can do just that.  Each school year is, in the immortal words of Anne Shirley, "fresh, with no mistakes in it."  

So, I'll just bask in the anticipation that fills me every single fall, whether I teach kindergarten, 6th grade, or preschool!   And in a few months, when I'm battling the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual fatigue that goes along with teaching children, I will try to think back and remember all these happy back to school feelings and remember that His mercies are new every morning!

Lamentations 3:21-24

 This I recall to my mind,Therefore I have hope.

 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning;Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,“Therefore I hope in Him!”

The Making of a Masterpiece!

We recently spent a wonderful long weekend visiting a friend in the South of Ireland.  Because I love all things kitchen and entertaining, I couldn't resist a trip to the House of Waterford Crystal factory!  We  marveled at the beautiful, stunning pieces of crystal in the shop and their equally stunning prices before heading off on the tour where we saw first hand each step in the process of making Waterford crystal.

For every step of the process, a craftsman will train for 8-10 years to become a master at just that one job.  Here are the blowers who start with a lump of melted glass and form it into individual vessels with their breath and skilled spinning of the tools.  Slowly, and with great care, the lump begins to take shape.

The vessel is then spun and molded in the hands of another craftsman to form its shape and add any extra bits such as handles or spouts.

Once the craftsman is finished, the vessel is cooled, then sent on to quality control to be checked.  Waterford Crystal only produces first class products.  If any imperfections or irregularities are found, the piece is smashed and melted down again.  You will never find Waterford Crystal "seconds" as only first class pieces are produced, and craftsman are not paid for any imperfect pieces they produce.

Pieces that pass quality control are then hand marked by an expert craftsman for cutting.

Once marked, pieces are sent to the cutting room, where each facet on the piece is cut by hand to create the sparkling, glittering creations that we know as Waterford crystal.

After cutting, each flawless piece is washed and polished and ready for sale.

Upon finishing the tour, we could understand in a new way why the price of Waterford crystal is so high!  The years of training and apprenticeship required to become a master craftsman, the hours of skilled work that go into each pice of crystal, the high standard of quality and perfection required for all finished products, certainly mean that each piece is a masterpiece and worth a very high price!

Isn't it true that all masterpiece creations are of great value?  And to think that as Christians, we are all works of art, being perfected and made beautiful by THE MASTER!  He created us, formed us from lumps of raw material and blew life into us with a vision of the beautiful, unique masterpiece we would each become at the end of the process.  With great care he molds us, forms our character, shapes our hearts, and creates facets in our personality which will reflect and refract His light to the world around.  He will also one day present us to the Father faultless and without blemish when we are finally made perfect through his sacrifice and redemption in Glory!

Indeed, YOU and I are masterpieces in the making!  On our own, just pieces of simple glass, but in the hands of the MASTER, beautiful crystal art works of great value!  How will I reflect the light of my Creator today?







 

Lessons from the kitchen!

The kitchen in my house was designed by a man, for a man!  It suited Robert's needs perfectly when he was a bachelor.  By his own admission, he spent as little time in the kitchen as possible!  A few pans, a few utensils, some plates and cups, salt and pepper... he was perfectly happy with the kitchen as he designed it!

Then....

I came along!  Not just me, but all my cooking and baking paraphernalia!  There are certain "essentials" that began filling every nook and cranny of our kitchen!  Things like stand mixers, blenders (counter top and hand held), serving platters of every size and shape imaginable, spices from all the corners of the globe, mixing bowls, baking pans, canisters containing a full range of flours (coarse wheat, plain, self raising, strong, etc.) began invading our cupboards, drawers, and counter space!  Suddenly, what was a perfectly adequate kitchen, became woefully inadequate to hold all the gadgets of this home cook!!!

Over the last few years, the huge influx of equipment and the lack of good storage began adding up to a giant clutter problem!  If you know me at all, you know that my tolerance for clutter is LOW!  For me, containment is the only way forward!  Baskets, boxes, and storage containers thrill my soul and bring a smile to my face!  But our clutter problem just would not be contained!  We realized several months ago that SOMETHING needed to be done!  Not wanting to spend a lot of money on a full remodel, we came up with a plan to add some shelving strategically and increase storage space that way! 

In the spring the builder came to measure for our shelves.  Weeks went by.  Then we chose paint colors.  Weeks went by.  Then we picked tiles for a backsplash behind the stove and sink.  Weeks went by.  We cleared everything out of the kitchen and painted.  Weeks went by.  The builder came to install the shelves.  Weeks went by.  We are still waiting to find out when the tiles will be installed.  I'm guessing weeks will go by!  

What I thought would be a weekend project has taken months and months!  I envisioned being able to de-clutter the kitchen in a few hours, but it has taken much more time and energy than I imagined it would.  It makes sense, really.  The clutter that has taken years to develop couldn't just be swept away with the brush of a hand.  It took lots of hard work... blood, sweat, and even some tears!  Sorting, organizing, deciding what to throw away, give away, and hold on to can be a painstaking process, and the mess involved in doing it made our kitchen look anything BUT de-cluttered for a while.  But now, standing back and looking at my "new" kitchen... made the whole process, all the waiting, all the moving around of things, all the sorting and letting go so worth while!  The kitchen is now finished apart from the tiles to be installed!  Everything has a place and is contained! 

I can't help but think that our little kitchen project has some bigger life lessons embedded in it!  I love how the Lord uses my everyday experiences to teach me!  Having seen how much clutter had accumulated in my kitchen in a few years, makes me think about how much "clutter" infiltrates my heart and mind as well.  Things that I hold on to, harbor, wounds that I nurse... clutter that gets in the way of my relationship with God and my relationships with people.  Just like my kitchen clear out, getting rid of heart clutter can be difficult... messy... painful.  But aren't the rewards of the hard work worth it!  

Like my kitchen project, clearing away heart clutter is a long process... life long!  I'm human, so I will keep on making messes in spite of my best cleaning efforts.  After all, when it comes to the heart, I could never clean enough to make even a dent!  But I know the Holy Spirit is at work in me, and can clean up things that I can not.  He can change my attitudes, convict me of wrong, empower me to let go of things that get in my way.  And someday, when I am in my heavenly home, I will be able to stand back and see a heart perfectly clean and clear of clutter, not because of my efforts, but because of the work of Jesus on the cross and his grace in my life!  What a great day that will be! 

Grace Greater Than Our Sin by Julia H. Johnston 

1. Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
   Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
   Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,
   There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.
   • Refrain:
     Grace, grace, God’s grace,
     Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
     Grace, grace, God’s grace,
     Grace that is greater than all our sin!
2. Sin and despair, like the sea waves cold,
   Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
   Grace that is greater, yes, grace untold,
   Points to the refuge, the mighty cross.
3. Dark is the stain that we cannot hide;
   What can we do to wash it away?
   Look! There is flowing a crimson tide,
   Brighter than snow you may be today.
4. Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
   Freely bestowed on all who believe!
   You that are longing to see His face,
   Will you this moment His grace receive?